So Friday morning, I left with Katey and her family to go to St. Louis. The trip was fine, but we ate some doughnuts that made us really sick. :(
Anyway, we arrive at Katey's grandparents' house, and I meet her aunt Cindy and her grandma. Katey grandma talks even more than I do and apparently Cindy's husband is a total homophobe and not a very nice guy. I'm hoping I just don't meet him. (fingers are crossed)
So after about 5 min in the house, we're whisked off to the St. Patrick's day parade and I think we were the only people over the age of 17 not beligerently drunk. We sat on the curb in the cold for a good 2 hours while we watched fat men drive little cars, kids doing Irish dancing, and various Irish clans being drunk. It was awesome.
Afterwards, we went to the zoo for a few hours, and I love seeing animals up close, but it's also sad to know that they live in little tiny rooms. But the orangutang baby was really cute.
So for dinner, we go to the corned beef and cabbage meal at the American Legion. I have to admit, I have a weak spot for the stuff. But while I was at the bar waiting for some water, I asked a guy if he was in line. He told me that I was really polite and he appreciated it. Then he told me that when he was in Vietnam, he was a polite soldier after he killed them(the Vietnamese, I guess). Then he started giving me a back rub and telling me how polite his kids were. I left pretty soon after that.
I met Katey's other aunt, Pam, at the CB&C dinner and she's crazy in a good way. We're driving home and she decides we should go by the liquor store. So she picks us up a 6 pack of bud light and we drive around and drink. Of course, we all decide to skip watching the KU so we can go to the bars and drink more. So we hit a few bars, smoked a little, watched fat 40 year olds dance dirty, crashed a birthday party, and had an all-around good night. And Katey's mom didn't say a word about it. : )
So we finally left the next afternoon at like 1. Katey and I needed batteries, so we stopped at a grocery store and then decided we needed food. So 15 bucks later, we had sun chips(harvest cheddar), juice(me), mountain dew(her), and candy buttons(gross).
We drove for awhile, with Katey's grandma talking the entire time, and soon got into the city. And, SURPRISE, Katey's grandma starts going on about how awful the city is late at night because.......it's filled with black people!
Wow. So Katey leans over and informs me that, yes, her granny is a huge racist. Great.
We park and start walking to the arch(grandma still hating on the blacks) and take some cute pics(I'll post later). We get to the base and hang out, and the arch is cute. It wasn't awesome and overwhelming, but it was nice to look at.
We got inside, wandered around and ate cheese and oatmeal cookies(hooray for the general store). We wandered around the museum, and eventually got ready to go up in the arch. And to our surprise, there's another museum after you wait in line to go up!
It kinda sucked. It talked about how they designed and built the arch. Katey got really distracted because they had a toy crane to operate and she loves heavy machinery. Then we saw this weird metal pod. We went to sit in it, just the two of us, and felt claustrophobic and cramped. Then we saw "closeted gay boy," our object of fascination/scorn for the day.
We get in line to actually go up, and SURPRISE AGAIN, the metal pods are how you actually get up to the top of the arch.So we climb on in with this southern couple, and Katey immediately starts talking about what it would be like if we crashed to our deaths. The lady loved that.
The view from the top wasn't great. But I found out that St. Louis is in the eastern part of Missouri, and that part of it(the black part, as grandma calls it) is in Illinois. Who knew?
So after we're done, we go to a restaurant and eat more. I was pretty quiet, because I was plotting a way to get on Survivor. I decided that I should do my application video in Paris or something, and they'd totally love it. It's my easy way to a million bucks ; )
We got home and Katey and I went for a jog. We went for about 20 min, and then decided to stop at Barnes and Noble. I was reading about Nick and Kristin and Britney being fat/pregnant/hating Kevin/doing a new album in the magazine section, and then I realized that I didn't know where Katey was. So I did an entire walk around the store, and couldn't find her. So I thought shed left and I was freaked out, of course. But I did another lap to be sure, and I realized that I'd skipped the kids' section. And of course, there she is. Reading "Princess Stories" or something. And what do I see next to her but Goosebumps and Choose Your Own Adventure.
And am I going to turn down a chance to read the books of my childhood? Hell no.
I died like 8 different ways in CYOA, but I always mark the page from 2 choices before, so I can go back if need be. And the Goosebumps was amazing, it's about a family that goes to Horrorland and weird shit happens. I'm already a third of the way done and we're going back tomorrow. Awesome!
And I watched lots of basketball. Is that weird that I'm starting to like it? We watched the last 20 min of the Wichita game and I was almost into it(damn you, Survivor!). And I'm kinda pissed we got out in the first round. Is KU rubbing off on me?
Sunday morning, everyone decided that I should go to church. So Katey, her sister, and I all get dressed and hop in granny's car. Katey's mom and grandma had already gone to the 9 o'clock service, but grandma kept saying how badly she wanted to go to mass with her grandkids. So we drive on over, get inside, and the mass starts. Granny leaves like two minutes later and tells us she'll be back in an hour. So much for quality time with the grandkids.
So mass is just splendid, and we get done and decide as we're waiting for grandma that we want to go to the mall. So we get in the car, tell grandma, and she informs us that we'll be too busy raking leaves in the backyard to go to the mall. So we get home and rake leaves for a solid hour. We put in some good work, play around a bit, and try not to be miserable. But we finish and our spirits are ok. We go to ask grandma where to put the bags, and she cackles and says, "Now it's time to do the side yard." Yeah, I was pissed.
So we finish that load of b*****it and the maybe-lesbian alcoholic aunt drives us to the mall. I think I forgot to mention this, but when she took us drinking on Friday, Katey's aunt told us about all the women she had sex with while she was in prison. But we weren't sure if she was telling us that she was a lesbian, that jail makes you a lesbian, or something else entirely.
Anyway, we wander around this mediocre mall for a few hours, and it was going fairly poorly until we went into a store called Jimmy'z. Their stuff wasn't my style, but I'm pretty sure I met my soulmate there. Cute, skinny, tall black guy about my age who was wearing really cute green underwear. Pretty sure I want to go back to St. Louis now.
So we get back to the house and it's time for dinner. It's decided that we're going to Brio, a nice little Italian place I've been to several times before. I get all dressed in jeans, a button up, and cute shoes. I looked nice. Katey and I pick out a a blazer, jeans, a tank, and high heels for her. She walks out to ask her mom something, and everyone starts screaming at her about her outfit. Her grandma keeps going on about how nice this restaraunt is, and that she has to wear a skirt or a dress and all I can think is "GENERATION GAP!" Katey tries to explain that she and I have eaten there, and that we though the outfit would work, but everyone insists that she either puts on a skirt or the dress from 8th grade that her mom brought for her to wear. Katey opts to borrow a skirt from her sister. And when I went out, grandma point to me and cackles "he's the culprit! he's the culprit!" I wish I were joking.
On the way out, Aunt Pam calls me into her room. "There's a lot of messed up people in the world," she says. "You'll need this." And she hands me a boot knife. Three inches long, straps right on inside my cowboy boots. Again, I wish I were joking.
We go to dinner, where Katey and I sit down and start playing "Chuck, Fuck, or Marry." It's going well until she gets a text and starts writing back. Granny stands up and once again starts yelling at Katey. She insists that it's going to get us kicked out of the place(because I guess restaurants have no-cell policies ; )) and that if Katey doesn't put it away, she'll take it by force. So she hands it over and we all start taking turns calling it and pissing of grandma. I also met homophobic Uncle Steve, who grimaced and wiped off his hand after I met him and shook his hand. Only in America.
To end our fab weekend, Katey and I went for a jog at 11. We jogged a few miles and decided to stop at the 24 hr Stop N' Save. So we go on in and sprawl ourselves across the magazine aisle. She's reading Rolling Stone, I'm all into my healty eating magazine, and we're good. We jog home at 12:30, crawl into bed, and come home at 9 in the morning.
Yesterday I was at the hospital with my mom a lot. She was really good for awhile, but then she started spouting nonsense about beer, my sister, and bellybuttons. It actually seemed like she was stoned, but I found out later that she's on morphine. Great.
As for today, I think I'm gonna catch up with some friends, maybe go for a jog, and go back to the hospital.
Hope your break is a good one. | 
Kisses